A Case for the Imperfect Victim
In 2026, sexual assault is something many people do not take lightly. Many of us are unwilling to sit idly by anymore as people take advantage of those around them and get away with it. But, in 2026, there is still a significant number of people who aim to question the victims and survivors of sexual assault. I know many people have heard the question, “What was she wearing?” time and time again. Or the question, “Did you say no?” or, “Were you drinking?” All of these are examples of victim blaming; our culture seeks to put the onus of safety on the victim, rather than reprimand the rapist. Our society does what it can to undermine victims, to set them to a standard of victimhood that, if you follow these rules, you will be taken seriously by the public as a victim of sexual assault.
The reality of our lives is that humanity is not perfect. No one conducts themselves in the exact way they should one hundred percent of the time. Requiring this of someone who was sexually assaulted or raped is an act of violence; it is a way to perpetuate the assault onto them by protecting the rapist. I, myself, have been an imperfect victim. I often am struck with flashbacks to the experiences I have had and interrogate myself in the same way, “Why wasn’t I more assertive?” “Did I bring this onto myself?” “Well, I liked it at the time, didn’t I?” However, these questions are irrelevant to understanding that I did not consent, and that was not respected.
As a queer, masculine-presenting person, my heart aches for the women I know and the girls I have been friends with throughout my life. Time and time again, I hear countless stories of how they have to conduct themselves to protect their bodies from men and those who wish to take advantage of them. Although I am a victim and survivor myself, I know that the experience of being feminine presenting is one of fear, not just of being raped or assaulted, but of what people will think of them if that happens. They wonder if people will even believe them because they like to dress a certain way or because they hang around guys a lot or for whatever reason they concoct.
Ultimately, nothing someone does should deny them from asserting they have been sexually assaulted or raped. If that is what happened, that is what happened.
