Halloween Ends Review

I feel like I’m being pranked.  I feel like, any minute now, somebody’s going to jump out, surprise me, and say, “Gotcha! Now, here’s the real Halloween Ends.”  And I’d say, “Oh, thank Christ!” before sobbing with relief. But, alas, this is not a joke. This is not a drill. This is not a dream. […]

Black Adam Review

The thirteenth installment in the reliably unreliable DC Extended Universe, Black Adam features moments of imagination and high-energy thrills, but fails to capture a needed sense of urgency and astonishment to justify its gigantic ego.  Not that I, or any film critic, would know anything about having a gigantic ego.  Almost five thousand years ago, […]

Don’t Worry Darling Review

Olivia Wilde’s suburban thriller Don’t Worry Darling tells a tense tale of dark secrets and deceit behind the veil of a shiny utopia. The film takes obvious inspiration from gaslighting narratives like The Truman Show and Rosemary’s Baby, but misunderstands some of the most fundamental components of those movies’ success. But along the way, there’s […]

Pinocchio (2022) Review

Disney lovers far and wide have been talking about the soon-to-be live action remake of the beloved movie Pinocchio (1940) and there have been many speculations regarding what people should expect once it became available to viewers. Once it hit the Disney+ streaming service on September 8th, I decided to watch and give you the […]

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Review

I’ll admit, I wasn’t a fan of the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie from pre-pandemic 2020, which I didn’t think was a hot take at the time, but oh was I wrong! As video game movies go, the film adaptation of beloved Sega character Sonic was weirdly accepted, some even dubbing it the best video […]

The Batman Review

Throughout Batman’s onscreen history, we’ve seemingly explored every angle the character has.  From the goofy surrealism of Adam West-era Batman, to Gothic camp of Tim Burton’s Batman,  and then the maximalist circus of Joel Schumacher’s Batman, ending with the gritty realism of Christopher Nolan’s Batman, the film history of the Dark Knight is full of […]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Review

Netflix’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre is elevated through a few effective sequences of suspense, some stunning scenery, and a routine supply of splendidly nasty gore. Sadly, the deviant glory of the film is undermined by a nonsense plot and an obnoxious insistence on its ignorant ideals.  The film quite shamelessly mimics the exact same premise of […]

Jackass Forever Review

Some movies are like a fine Merlot, some a can of Dr. Pepper, and some a juice box. The Jackass franchise is a spiked juice box: you can’t give it to a kid, but only with a kid’s taste would you find it even remotely appealing. That gray area is where the merrily sadistic Jackass […]

Scream 5 Review

I don’t envy the filmmakers in the position of helming the newest entry in any beloved property, but I can’t even fathom the stress of sitting down to write a new Scream movie. What you need to understand is, they aren’t just writing a movie. They’ve inherited an obligation to extend the self-aware commentary at […]