When You’re Not 100% That B*tch: A 100 Word Rant

I just took a DNA test and it turns out I’m 100% NOT that b*tch. I’m only 53% that b*tch. What is that supposed to mean? Am I only a slightly above average b*tch? Have I only slightly been putting the sing in single? To be honest, I’m shocked. Why did my best friend sit me down in the salon chair to get this shampoo press? I just took photos with the bomb lighting for my Instagram, too… Ugh, I’ll hit you back in a minute; I just thought I was it. The truth really does hurt. 


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