BSU CLOSING DOWN IN 2025 (Foolish Edition)

Bridgewater State University is bowing out

After the 2024-2025 academic year the College is closing its doors, leaving thousands to scramble to find new schools.

The abrupt announcement came as shocking news to both students and professors, neither group having seen any signs that the school was in poor shape.

“The finances have been poor for several years now. We had been hoping that some alumni would be able to bail us out, but those talks failed,” said Bridgewater President Fred Clark.

“Honestly I’m a bit shocked I’ve lasted this long”

Students expressed their surprise at the student announcement, with emotions ranging from indifference to outright depression

“I’m literally crying right now, this place was like a second home to me, I’ve no idea what to do” said junior Rose Macafi, “I’m probably going to transfer to Massasoit”

“This place sucked anyway, I’m transferring into a prison cell” said sophomore Andy Jackson while running from campus police.

The College reported a 13 million deficit over the last 6 months, the bulk of it having been spent on a new parking garage that is open between the hours of 11:59 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. and closed to residents, commuters, faculty, and staff.

“That’s actually an improvement, last year it was a 21 million dollar deficit” Said Jose Gosepi, the Vice President of the University.

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