Pluto Speaks Out (Foolish Edition)

Earlier this morning a cosmic rift was sensed in the surface of former planet, Pluto. The rift was detected and measured by NASA scientists who then released a statement entitled “Pluto’s Message,” as it is believed the rift was Pluto speaking from the core. The message is as follows:

Humans are the only animals capable of taking something, everything, and seeing nothing. You look out on a world rich with life, uniqueness, beauty, and wonder, yet it is nothing. You need to fight for rules, order, to be the best and come out triumphant. To whom are you proving yourself? There is no one to praise the most developed country, the best at rules, the greatest with production. But there you are, coming up with laws and regulations, with titles and classifications that contribute to your own insignificance. You cannot even prove yourselves to yourselves. If I am nothing, then what are you? Maybe that is the key to embracing my lack in status and title. Because I am nothing, yet mightier than thou, that makes you even more nothing than I. Since nothing can come of nothing, I suppose that proves why I have been labeled as such. Yet, you remain certain that you can be something. Prior to parading these labels, maybe look within yourself. Take a moment to realize, nothing is anything. All that exists has only been labeled for your comfort. You have seen an insignificant blink of space. Your knowledge and existence can hardly be realistically described against the expanse of space. All that you have come up with will amount to a grain of sand in contrast to that which exists in sum.

NASA scientist, NASA scientist, has spoken out about the matter. “We urge everyone to take the rift message with a grain of salt. Of course, the earth and her continents are not nothing! Pluto is in a rebellious phase, that will end on March 23, 2178. Until then, more rift messages are expected to come, and will be directed to the philosophy departments of multiple universities. It seems like something one of them would say anyways, so they can deal with it.”

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