Ode To Headphones

It was my birthday a few days ago, I know, very exciting!

Not really. I’m not a big birthday person. I mean, its cool to think about everyone celebrating you for the day, but I just find it to be fairly awkward. 

Like, everyone I have a pointless streak with on Snapchat (who I’ve never spoken to) are now forced to wish me a happy birthday just because my Bitmoji is wearing a birthday hat. It’s more taunting than celebratory, if you ask me. 

And what about going to restaurants? I personally feel that there’s nothing worse than unhappy minimum-wage servers at your local Chilis being forced to sing happy birthday to some stranger while eyeing around the restaurant, hoping they don’t know anyone dining that night. That’s my guess at least, I work at Market Basket so I only relate to being an unhappy minimum-wage worker.

Alas, I celebrated my birthday with some Snapchat birthday wishes, thankfully avoiding a restaurant birthday song. However, something did really make my day.

New. Headphones.

If you’re like me, you know just how extravagant headphones are. I mean, when I walk across campus and see someone wearing headphones, I watch in awe as they effortlessly strut around, looking cool and unbothered by the world.

Oh yeah, I wanted that to be me.

So I tried, and it was and still is an ongoing effort I make to be that chill, yet I don’t think I’ve hit the mark quite yet.

In fact, if headphones have changed me in any way, I’d say that they’ve made me even more insecure and awkward.

They should come with a warning label on the box. How was I to know that it takes skill to rock headphones while making sure your hair still looks good? 

And volume? One second, it feels like everyone in a two mile radius can hear me listening to “Man Or Muppet”, the next I turn my headphones down and I can’t hear a thing! Just yesterday, I had my headphones on and my roommate came into the room and I can’t even write the words I said (I’d like to keep my job).

Now, I am left with a mission. That mission being that I need to figure out some way to increase my odds of becoming a campus celebrity, and not just with the headphones. Maybe I should get a skateboard or start singing everywhere I go, that’ll definitely start me off!


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