Ode To The Student Tour

I genuinely do not know if I can fully express my feud with BSU’s college tours.

Don’t get me wrong, the tour guides themselves are great! Doing the job that absolutely no one wants to do, they are the true martyrs of this school. Hate to say it, but it’s our “future bears” that make these tours so…undesirable. 

Many of you may be asking, “Nina, why do you hate tours?”

You obviously  don’t get it, because if you did get it  you wouldn’t be asking such a silly question. For those unable to comprehend, I now share my tragic villain origin story.

As a self-proclaimed master of awkwardness, I figured that the typical stomach growl during class or the art of getting friend-zoned would be the worst it could get for a freshman.

I was terribly mistaken.

How, you might ask?

As many of you may know, student tours go through one first year hall in particular, Scott Hall. Understandably, it is a better alternative to Shea Durgin (which lacks…ceiling tiles),  Pope Hall (where the tour guides would get shushed), and Woodward (I honestly forgot Woodward exists).

One day, a Sunday to be exact, I was doing my laundry and transferring my (what I soon realized were half dry) clothes from the dryer to my laundry bag. An important point to add is that I was blasting music through my headphones, completely unaware of the horde of seventeen year-olds behind me on their college tour.

Things went downhill from there…

During my transfer, I unknowingly dropped my underwear on the floor. Thus, whilst I was hoisting my bag onto my back to leave, I made eye contact with some high school lacrosse bro (the jacket and hat with hair busting out the sides gave it away).

He then proceeds to redirect his eyesight to my underwear on the floor.

Never have I wanted to crawl in a hole more than that moment.

From then on, I have decided to devote my life to expressing my deep dislike for college tours.

“Hey Nina, want to leave the dorm and go grab lunch?”

“No, not until the 11:30 tour has passed through Scott, because if I see a tour group I may commit arson!”

(for legal reasons this is a joke, also I don’t live in Shea Durgin so I wouldn’t do it anyways).

When passing a tour group, I avoid any and all eye contact, especially with the parents. I can’t let them think that I am okay with their presence. However, they might think that I am awkward by avoiding eye contact so I guess that brings me back to my original problem.

Overall, you cannot escape the college tour. Trust me, I’ve tried.

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